BUT today is another day & I woke up this morning with a healthy mind frame & headed to the gym
SO! I created a great cardio-based circuit that I will now share with you (you're so welcome.)
I started on the rowing machine & did 10 minutes here. Beyond Fit often uses rowing machines in their workouts, so I'm starting to get a little more comfortable with this contraption. I swear the first handful of times I tried one these machines I kept getting my damn feet awkwardly stuck in the ...foot.. things (whaddya call those?)
It wasn't until Chad at Beyond was just like "Yeah, you just push the strap thing down like this" that I realized how user friendly this machine actually is.
Last circuit I went to at Beyond they encouraged us to try to row 200 watts which is HILARIOUS because when I am just going with all my might I rarely get above 130 watts.
- 10 burpees
- 15 Left sided V-ups
- 20 Russian twists (total, not on each side. Because I don't hate myself)
- 15 Right sided V-ups
- 12 (on each leg) walking lunges with 5 lb weights (I know, not obliques, but I was feeling crazy)
Next, I moved onto the next cardio set, which I thought was going to be the stair stepper, but I don't know if I'm stupid or if those machines are stupid, but I just... couldn't... do it right (?) So, instead I did the stationary bike. No, not the lounging one, but the tall one that's like the ones in spin class.
Fuck. fuckmylife, y'all. This certainly was the most challenging part of the workout. I couldn't do the whole 10 minutes on a difficult incline so I did a intervals consisting of 90 seconds steady pace/ 30 second "what the fuck is wrong with me" pace (why is that not already a setting on this bike?). Back & forth for 10 minutes.
Y'all. I was such a gross sweaty mess on my next round of the burpees & v-ups, etc... I left a huge puddle on the mat where I was laying.
...And I wonder why I never make friends at the gym.
The next block was 10 minutes on the elliptical. I did a pretty steady interval. This was certainly the easiest part of the whole time at the gym. After this I finished the last round of the oblique blaster (plus lunges) & called it a day at a 50 minute work out! It was challenging & I feel like I really got a good cardio in without getting bored!
And then the second half of the book discusses how to put that into action. She keeps talking about her Glowing Green Smoothie & clients of hers that have changed nothing except adding one or two of these a day to their diet & the benefits of it. So, bitch -I had to skip a head a little & get the recipe.
In mine I've been using spinach, arugula (ATTENTION: I'VE DISCOVERED I LOVE ARUGULA), cilantro, lemon, whatever fruit I have around (usually green apple or banana) & cucumber. Zap it in the blender & I like it way more than I expected to.
It's a great way to tide yourself over until a next meal & also it's a freakin fantastic way to get tons of fiber & energy boosting vitamins. If nothing else, I'm hooked on this as a middle morning/late afternoon snack.
And every time I drink it I sing "So fresh & so green, green!" (like the outkast song) because I'm really, really white (like, so white)
Oh, before I go- I want to leave you with this image.
So, what this says to me is that no one is going to make money off telling you how awesome you are & that is exactly why there are millions of self help books & no "Fine Just The Fucking Way You Are" books.
So, I am here to tell you- that I may never make any money off this, but you are awesome. You are fucking fantastic & don't let some billboard or advertisement or the voice in your head tell you otherwise.
You fucking foxy fox you.