This weekend was fantastic! Really. 
As I mentioned in my last post, I would be going back to the hometown for the weekend for a friend's wedding. While I was there I got some good food, some good time with family and even a good workout in! 
Sometimes going home is good for the soul. 

So, on our (long) drive in, my Aunt Frannie texted (spell check is resisting that "texted" is a word, but I think spell check needs to get it's ass into 2014) me and asked if I wanted to go to boot camp with her Saturday morning. I. Love. Boot camps. And also, I think buddy system workouts are the best. If someone else is relying on you to go - you're a lot less likely to bitch out, ya know?
So, we went to Delta Life Bootcamp, Mid County. And it was the funnest! So, if you're in the back home area and looking for a very motivated workout- check them out. We went to the FREE Saturday 8:30 am class (cuz homegirl is poor right now)

What I really liked about it was that there were people of all different fitness levels there. As my Aunt Frannie noted, she was scared it would be nothing but "a bunch of skinny bitches" (direct quote) (please don't kill me, Frannie. You did say it. And it was hilarious), but it was a really eclectic group and also a really fun group.
I know it can be intimidating joining a new fitness program (and a lot of people get real nervous when they hear "boot camp"), but this group was great and the workouts were challenging with out being quite heart attack inducing. So, if you're in the PortNederGrove, TX area and looking to get in shape- look 'em up y'all! 

My friend, Larena, married a great guy this weekend and I think I drank too much wine and cried at her for a few minutes. For that, Larena. I apologize (And I may have bullied her new husband and told him to be nice to her. Not that he has ever not been nice to anyone. And for that, I also apologize. I blame wine)

It was seriously a beautiful wedding on a perfect day. I'm so happy for the couple and feel so special that I got to be part of the celebration. 
(again. sorry for the crying.)
(seriously, though. It was like the day I turned 28 I started crying at shit all the time) 
(also: Merlot)

So.. like in that picture, I guess I thought I was ready for the picture but then a song came on that I was way more excited about and needed to dance RIGHT NOW. 

So! Back to reality- I mentioned last week that I would be starting the 21 Day Fix this week and I have. I have been finding it really easy to stick to. I thought it wasn't going to be enough food, but it totally is. 
Okay, as promised, I was going to take before pictures. I'm actually really embarrassed as I've digressed quite a bit in the last like 2 months so this took A LOT OF GUTS Y'ALL. 

My mom was nice enough to send us home with a whole cake for Steve's birthday. See, I like cooking, but I may be the worst baker that has ever happened. Let me see if I can find a picture of the cake I baked Steve in 2010... 
OH! Here it is. 

And then for our dinner last night, I wanted to make Steve his favorite dish- This pasta, tofu, cheesey creation that the boyfriend just goes nuts for! But, I didn't know how I was going to make mine 21 Day Fix approved, but I'm kind of a goddamn genius and I figured it out. 

So, that's Steve's. Yes, he got the whole thing to himself because he is one lucky dude. 
So, I took my ingredients and measured them out in the 21 Day Fix containers 

And then I took those ingredients and put them in my cupcake tray (that has only been used once) (because I suck at baking. please try to keep up). 
And it turned out perfect! Yessss--- my green container overfloweth, but it was spinach and mushrooms. No one is getting fat on spinach and mushrooms, okay?
So, I feel that like maybe this whole thing is going to put me on the right track to reigning in my whole portion control issue that I have! *fingers crossed* 

I feel like I'm leaving out a whole lot of other stuff from my life that's going on. I got a lot of stuff going on in my life, that I'm sure will come out here sooner rather than later. 
There's also a lot more going on with Beachbody right now besides me learning how to make pasta in sensible sizes. I want to tell you all about that too! Remind me to tell you all about the new P90 program and their contributions to Wounded Warrior Project next time. k?

HERE'S SOME STUFF FROM THE INTERNET!!! 

Yes, sir or madam. It is fall in the ATX, y'all. 
You know what that means. 
Highs in low 90's and lows in the high 70's! 
Hell yeah! And pumpkins. Pumpkins freakin' everywhere. 

One of my favorite things about the slight break in the heat stroke inducing weather is that it's such nice running weather. 
At the beginning of fall and spring I always find a renewed interest in running. I search hourly for playlists and plan out new routes in my neighborhood and spend hours looking online for new running shoes that I never buy because I just always buy whatever's on sale at DSW or Marshall's anyway... 

BUT! It's here. And if just feels so fresh and nice out in the mornings. I tell you, a morning run is a million times better than a cup of coffee (that I'm proud to say I'm only drinking once a week now) for waking you up in the morning. 

But, unfortunately- running has been the only exercise I've really been into lately, and my foods... dude. My foods have been all over the place. And portion control has been a non-thing. Like, not a thing I have been even acknowledging at all.
Sooo..... 

There's this program called 21 Day Fix that is hugely popular and regarded pretty highly among just about everyone. It's kind of a no-brainer system to portion control. It allows for some cheats like wine and chocolate and I really think it's just what I need to kind of reign in the Eternal Munchie Monster that has taken over my life (eternal munchie monster! band name, I call it!)

I'm not expecting the workouts to be very challenging for me though, but I will be supplementing with lots of running because -- as previously stated-- the weather outside might not kill me this time of year. 
AND to keep myself super accountable I am going to go HAM (hard as a mothatrucker) on this program and post my before pics and measurements. On here. So expect more regular updates in the next 21 days. 
Y'all, this is going to be a big scary step for me because I am NOT in best form right now. I've got this jiggle on my hip I haven't seen in a while, but I think with being real with myself- and you guys- I can get myself back into a place where I'm confident. 
And also because if you send in before and after results you can get a t-shirt. And I freakin love swag. 

Yeah, so either I'll get super back on track before your eyes or have a total nervous breakdown before your eyes. Stay tuned!

so, I would like to introduce a new Awkward Burpees segment called "The People" in which we talk to... well, the people. 
And one person in particular is my girl, Abby. 
Abby and I went to high school together in Port Neches, TX (go, Indians..? or whatever) (seriously... how has that racist ass name not been changed yet?) (I mean, it says "scalp 'em" in the pep rally song) (I have a feeling I'm about to be flooded with a lot of purple hate mail)  and both had the same idea and made our way to this great state's capitol. 
Abby started with me and Piyo a few months ago. In fact, she was my first Piyo sale! Abby has really been sticking with it and moved onto another Chalene Johnson program, Turbo Jam. 
Abby was kind enough to do an interview with me about her experience and I'm excited to share that with you guys! 

Tell us your story! What led you to give the  Piyo Challenge Pack a try?
A: Well I love Yoga, but sometimes it moves a little too slow for me, I have no patience sometimes! So when I saw that the Piyo is a little more aggressive, I wanted to try it. 
 
You then moved onto Turbo Jam. How was that transition?
A:It was really easy.  Since Piyo had Chalene Johnson in that one also, I am used to how she conducts the workouts. 

 Charlene Johnson (creator of Piyo and Turbo Jam) is a nut. Sometimes when I workout with her int he mornings I'm just like-- dude. What are you on and where do I find it?
A: Lol I feel the same way!  When I started the Turbo, I was like, OMG too much energy and this woman doesn't take a break for like 40 minutes!

 Sometimes after doing Piyo Sculpt or Piyo Buns, I can't walk right for days. How's dat ass lookin' these days, grrrrl?
A: Its looking pretty good!!!

 What do you really like about the Beachbody programs? What has been a challenge for you?
A: I like that the workouts don’t get boring.  you don’t do the same one everyday.

 In general, what do you find more of a challenge; eating right or getting your workouts in?
A: I honestly find getting the workouts in more challenging for me, its easy to make an excuse to not do it. 

Besides your Beachbody programs- what other active activities do you like? 
A: I love taking my dog down to Lady Bird Lake and running 4 miles.  I also go to some of the bootcamps around Austin.  (editor's note: hey- Abby! I want to go to Bootcamps with you! Hit me up!)

 You've been doing Shakeology for awhile now. Do you find it easy to work into your daily meal plans?
A: Yes it is very easy to fit in.  Sometimes if I am having a rushed or busy day, it makes it easier,

What is your "danger" food/drink (something you just can't even keep in the house or it's just like "OMG ALL OF IT GOES IN MY BELLY NOW")
A:  Gummy Bears, or anything in the gummy candy category lol.  I will eat the whole bag if it is near. 

 Dude, we're about to be 30. (not a question... but just really.. dude!)
A:  Omg, I know, did you have to remind me? lol

 You had mentioned to me that you wanted to lose a few more pounds before your birthday in a couple of weeks. Are you on track to hit that goal?
A: Yes I am super close, only 5 more by my birthday, I still have 2 weeks!

How many pounds/inches have you lost?
A:  To date I have lost 18lbs

 What advice would you give someone starting their own fitness journey?
A: To stick with it!  Get a buddy!   it defiantly makes a huge difference when you have someone cheering you on!

Hey! I know you have a blog too. Wanna plug it here? 
A: Sure!  Its www.introvertinaustin.com

If you would like to be The People, let me know :)

So, Me, Steve and Teddy will be making our way to the 409 this weekend for a good friend's wedding. I haven't been home in AGES. I'm pretty excited to see everyone. 
My friend who is getting married, Larena, is going to be the prettiest effing bride I've ever seen. I can't wait. So, in honor of the bride to be I wanted to present my favorite picture of us together, circa 2007: 

Okay, no actually, I think this is my favorite of us. Probably also 2007 or 2008. When the shirt under dress fad was apparently... at thing that we did. 
This was at the Beauty Bar on 7th & Red River (RIP). We would go there every damn time we came to Austin and basically dance until the lights came on and they told us we had to leave. 
I'm just realizing that you can't actually see my beautiful friends face in either of these pictures. Oh, here's another good one I found-- 

hmm... okay, FuckFace. I don't have any good pictures of you. So that means you have to take some really pretty one of you tomorrow so the thousands of viewers of this blog (or my mom hitting the refresh button about 250 times a day) can see how beautiful you really are!

If you're a long time reader of this blog, or just someone that knows me, you know that I have had some trouble in the sports bra department for some time. 
They just don't... they just don't really do anything for me and it fucking sucks, dude! I've never not been able to do any high impact activity without two sports bras and sometimes two sports bras and a tank with one of those built in "shelf" bras (why? why are they called shelf bras?)

About two years ago, I decided to make an investment on a good, solid sports bra. So, I did some researching and made my way down to Lululemon who carries the highly rated Ta Ta Tamer . This bad boy runs about $60, so imagine my disappointment when it went on its' first run and that run only lasted 3 minutes before I had  to go back home and throw a cheap racer back second bra over it. 
Seriously- Disappointmentville. Population: Katy. 

I am so cheap with my workout clothes so this was a major let down. BUT! It did work well in combination with a cheap racer back overlay. The two sports bra system seemed it was here to stay (Or as I call it, "double bagging it." Because I'm classy and I say classy shit) 

So, it was more or less a blessing in disguise when I lost my Ta Ta Tamer. I just... I just lost it! I put it in my gym bag when I went to work, but it was no longer there when I got to the gym. So it either fell out of my bag in my apartment, work or gym parking lot, but it hasn't been seen since. 
So, it was time. Time for me to start my dreaded search for a new sports bra

It's from Target, it's under $25 and I don't have to double bag. It's basically what I've been looking for my whole life. It's called the C9 by Champion High Support sports bra, and here's the rating I gave it on the Target website 

So, the important part of the story is that I ended up with a great product at a great price, but you guys come here for the awkward parts of the story. So, I'd hate to disappoint you. 

So, there is a Target like in my backyard. Like, seriously. Target and my apartment complex share a fence and I go there way too often. It's a Super Target so I'm even able to get my groceries there so I'm there like all the time. All. The. Time. 

So, sometimes to avoid shopping around and buying more than I intend to I will go onto the Target website, purchase the item I want and they will hold it at the customer service desk until I can pick it up. You just have to wait for a confirmation email. 

BACK STORY:  
Okay, so the only back story you really need is that the last time I bought something on the Target website it was for off my friend, Sabrina's baby registry. I purchased it and had it shipped directly to her home. 
END BACK STORY. 

So, I purchase the bra, wait for the confirmation email, go to Target and first buy my groceries. After I get my groceries I make my way to the customer service desk and wait. 
There's a pretty long line and I'm starving at this point, so I get an apple out of my bag of food and hope the line moves along soon. Unfortunately, there's only one older lady behind the counter of the help desk who is... overwhelmed... to say the least. 
I'm contemplating my third apple when I finally make it to the front of the line and pull up the confirmation email. 

Target Lady: Name?
Me: Katy Hearne. It may be under Kathryn.
An awkward amount of time passes. She asks me how to spell my name. She calls me Kathy. I cringe. My name is not Kathy. I spell my name. I tell her I'm Katy and finally... 
Target Lady: There's nothing here under your name, Kathy. 
Me: Okay, I have a confirmation email
Target Lady: We look up the orders by name, Kathy and there's no Hearne. 
Me: Okay, but I have the confirmation emai--
Target Lady: (in an older lady overwhelmed type voice) Everyone get's an email!!!! 
Me: ... do you want the order number from the email?
Target Lady: No. We look up the orders by name. 

She decides to call up her floor manager. 

Target Lady: Her order isn't here
Floor Manager: Did you look it up by the order number? (to me) Did you get an order number in your email? 
Me: ................................................................................................yes. 

Floor Manager: Okay, let me look it up by that number 
Target Lady: I was told to look it up by the name. She's not in there
Floor Manager: Okay, ma'am. It was a sports bra, right? Okay. Tell me your name again? Katy? I have it under... Sabrina Harland?

And here is the exact face the damn Target Lady gave me

If you'll remember from the complicated back story, the last online purchase I made was for and shipped to my friend Sabrina from her baby registry. So even though when I sign into my Target account and when I get emails from Target it says, "Hello, Kathryn", for some reason my purchases were under... Sabrina?

And the drama didn't stop there. 
It went onto another conflict with Target Lady who got really snappy with me in regards to me apparently not knowing my name and me saying "I'm done working with you" to her. No, I am NOT proud of being so short with a sweet old lady who was just trying to do her job as she was told, but ...
OMG, y'all. I was just so done working with her. 
... She did give me a $3 off coupon though. 

Oh, and then they said my charge didn't go through online and they had to check me out there at the in store register and come Monday I had two Target charges for $24.98 on my account and I got to go in and dispute the charge and explain the whole situation to everyone again and explain why I only had one receipt... 
I'm sure there is a lesson to be learned, but I have no fucking idea what it is. 
Don't buy people stuff off their registry? 
Really. I don't fucking know. 

I went for an hour long run this morning in my new bra (in this new non-omgImightHaveAHeatStrokeAtAnyMoment- ATX weather!) and it was so comfortable. 
What a beautiful way to ring in fall. 
And now I'm going to stuff my face with pumpkin puree straight from the can. 
Because it's not really fall until OMG PUMPKIN. 

HAPPY END FALL EVERYONE! 

I hate body shaming. It makes me
it makes me... it makes me so very angry! 
But the thing is that- typically- when one encounters body shaming it is towards a woman who is overweight (by today's social standards)

So, the other day I was at one of my favorite hidden treasures in the city- The White Horse- and there was this girl there in a blue and polka dotted dress who was painfully skinny. 
Ugh, I hate that I have to use that word to describe her. Painfully. But she was just really quite skinny and for whatever fucking reason I felt the need to comment on it to my boyfriend and brother. 
Ugh. WTF is wrong with me? 
"Look how skinny that girl in the blue and polka dotted dress is", I said. Like an asshole. "she's just tooooooo skinny. She can't be healthy" Like it was any of my damn business. 

Luckily, my boyfriend isn't an absent minded dick, like I was being and immediately shhhhhsh'ed me and said "you don't know who around here might be with her. That's kinda rude"

And it was. It was totally effing rude. 
1) I have no idea what's going on in her life. She could be sick. Getting over some disease that caused her to lose a lot of weight. She could suffer from an eating disorder like 1/4 young American girls. OR she could just be a naturally skinny girl who is really fucking sick of people always telling her to eat a hamburger or whatever. 
2) other people's bodies are none of my business. Like 0.0000% of my business
3) I would have never felt the need to comment on a very overweight person in a crowd and I wonder why that is? I mean, I worry for the health of the very overweight and would probably of mentally noted that I hope that person gets some help, but would have never said anything OUT LOUD about it. What does that say about me? What does that say about society?

Did I feel that it was okay to say something because skinny is a desirable trait today? For instance, take the following popular image: 

I remember when I first saw this post (or something similar) a few years ago thinking how empowering it was to the average woman, but now I think that maybe it's more harmful than hurtful. 
Firstly, all these woman are beautiful. Secondly, I'm pretty sure that at least one of the women from the first row has publicly admitted to suffering from anorexia and drug use. 
Thirdly, yes of course "skinny" is more popular now in magazine and movies, but in the 50's there were still a lot of thinner than average women in movies just like today there are still curvy beautiful actresses and models. 
Oh, I found this. I think this is a better updated image in regards to the former image... 

Okay, so what I want to leave you with today is this song and video. It is the bestest and oh so body positive. Especially if you got a booty (my white girl booty would be jelly, but today is about embracing your body. So my flat, little white girl booty is just like "yeah whatever")

I want to go and like... just hang out in this video for a Saturday night or something. I love it. I LOVE it. 

And you. 

Have a beautiful day

Okay, you know what?
I wanted to write a blog post about the Micheal Jackson choreography class I took this weekend at Ballet Austin during their International Day of Dance event. 
Like, I even wrote a whole first draft of this paragraph (draft... lol. I just type shit and if it gets erased I'm like "that was my first draft" because it sounds better than "that was fucking lame".) but after watching the "Beat It" video a couple of times. I want to discuss... so many things. 
So. Many. Things. 

I could seriously Mystery Science Theater this video all day...

• Snap, snap, snap (One day in the year 5000 they're going to do a study on violence in primitive years and all the felons and gangsters are going to snap. They will site Beat It and West Side Story as research material)
• Does anyone work at the diner or pool hall? or did they all clear out to watch the pending knifey- dance off?
• Why are white gangster's pants SO SO high waisted? 
• What is the point of a leather jacket if you're just going to roll the sleeves up? Perhaps a nice cardigan would be more appropriate for your particular needs?
• Why doesn't MJ get jumped when he breaks up their knife fight? He's just like "it doesn't matter who's wrong or right" and they're just like "yeah. he's right. let's snap it out now" (IDK, dude. Maybe gang members do snap)
• who's the guy with the hipster glasses? why does he get a close up? is he seizing? Should... should we call an ambulance?

And now, I have an assignment for you. Watch "Beat It" and then immediately after watch this Hot Cops clip from Arrested Development and tell me they AREN'T THE EXACT SAME VIDEO. 

because they are. 
the same thing.

So, anyway. We learned the steps to Smooth Criminal first. And that shit is hard. And so for the first half of the class I was struggling to really enjoy myself because that's never been my favorite song so I was having a hard time getting into it paired with OMG WHY IS THAT THE HARDEST MOST UNNATURAL CHOREOGRAPHY EVER? 

So, I was just sort of whatever about, but having fun. 
Totally not keeping up with any of the people there, but it's something new. 
And then we did "Beat It" and it was the FUNNEST!!!! 
(side story. The other day I was at a pool party and I said something was "the funnest" and this guy corrected me because "funnest" isn't a word. I just nodded, but like the whole next day I was replaying the scene in my head where I was like "yeah, dude. I fucking know funnest isn't a word. Thank you for your wisdom and condensation. dick"... okay, side story over) 

It's just a better song, in my opinion. It's easier to move to. The moves are more fun to do and come more naturally- less choppy. Oh, and there's a video. Ballet Austin sent us all a video of the class doing the "Beat It" dance. 

In the spirit of fairness I will point myself out, but there are a lot of people in this video who are fucking. good. 

1. Youtube won't let me use the music from the video they sent me. But you know the words. So just sing it
2. I am on the last person stage right in the green top and shorts
3. Yes, I am about 1 count behind everyone else. I will never dance on Broadway. I've come to terms with it. You should too. 

Oh, and my friend Hope- who is my Ballet Austin hook up- just sent me a link to another all day FREE dance day they are having towards the end of August where they will be hosting a BEYONCE DANCE CLASS. 
So. 
That's going to be amazing. 
I'm just glad Partition doesn't really have much choreography to it. (Is rolling around, posing on chairs & seducing Jay Z choreography?)
Because... like, I can't even listen to that song with other peopel in the room. It's too much. Too sexy. Too much sexy. 

Also, what is this? Are we supposed to believe this is what Beyonce works out wearing? 

So... anyway. 

So, next time I think I'll just use the shakeology for the chocolate bit (because I love the taste!) and maybe stevia instead of agave. But seriously, if you're wanting something sweet and decadent that isn't processed crap-- y'all should try this. 
Just.. ya know. Don't add so much dense chocolate unless you want a stomach ache for days. 

So, all together I think 13 ladies doing the group which I'm super excited about. Three signed up with me (I'm just getting started) and we are currently on day 4. I think it's going pretty well! Not everyone in the group is doing Piyo, but everyone seems to be participating and enjoying it. 

My challengers are: 

• Amanda-- she and I are friends from college. We used to party together, and now we both fairly domestic grown ups obsessed with our dogs. She is rocking it pretty hard with PiYo and the Vegan Chocolate Shakeology (just like me!) She called PiYo Sweat her "soul mate" workout. That makes me so excited when someone really just clicks with a workout (like the oppoiste of me and step class. I am glad Amanda is having the opposite experience I have every step class I attend) 
• Che- So, funny story. Che and I have never met in real life, but I feel like I know her. Like, if I wanted to bitch about my day I feel like I could call her up. We actually met on a MyFitnessPal vegan message board and we both live in Austin and through obsessively telling her about PiYo I wore her down. Thanks for joining!!
• Katey- Katey was in my last group. She's actually doing her second month of Insanity and seeing great results. Katey just ordered chocolate Shakeology and is discovering the nomness of chocolate shakeo & peanut butter smoothies. Yummm... hey- ya wanna see Katey's results from month one of Insanity??

She is proof that if you stick with it, it works. Watch your nutrition. Do your workouts. And unless you're actually physically sick-- don't make excuses. 

Or this. This is perfect advice to live by: 

more stuff has happened, obviously, since last time I posted. But I'm kind of just tired of writing. So, please feel free to just... look at pictures of these things. Maybe read their descriptions. 

OKAY LOVE YOU BYYYEEEEEE

Hey! Hi, hello. How was your 4th of July? Did you have a great independence day? I found this picture and it was more or less the highlight of my day: 

HA! Nerds. I'm sure all my English friends will love this. Luckily, you can't see the internet in England...
But, no. My 4th was fine.
I was craving watermelon HARD. Hardcore needing watermelon in my life

Anyway, I'm in line and I'd grabbed one of those pre-cut halves of a watermelon. I was wishing I hadn't because it was kind of starting to leak all it's perfect watermelon goodness all over the place. So, I'm pretty preoccupied with that when the elderly woman standing in front of me turns around quick and abruptly and says-- serious as a heart attack-- 

Shocked, I stammered
"I... didn't do anything?"
"Yes you did."
"I...didn't--"
"don't do it again. Don't do that again"
 And then she turned around
And I was left standing there trying desperately not to do it again. Whatever it was. 
So, yeah. Happy 4th of July y'all! 
(a week late)

They are killing it, y'all. I'm so happy that my first Beachbody challenge group is going so well. 
I mean, I'm not hosting it on my own, but with the help of my personal coach- Rachel (go like her on Facebook. She's great. I'm a lucky woman to have an awesome mentor)
But yeah, of my challengers I've got a couple that are really dedicating themselves to the group. Here's what a 30 day challenge group is: 

And challenge groups are fun, interactive and awesome and really help most people stay focused and stay in it. 
So, for instance my one friend is doing the 21 Day Fix- which is an amazing program that focuses on portion control. It's also ideal if you're not quite ready to jump around like a madman with Insanity or something. Look at this collage I made

So, Shana (the friend who's doing 21 Day Fix. Stay with it guys) posted the following quote the other day and it just about made my day

I was just through the roof for her. She's just truckin' along busting through her barriers and crushing her goals and it's crazy how proud I am of her. Yeah. HELL YEAH! 
But seriously- awesome job Shana (and everyone in the group)

I have another challenge group starting later this month. It's focused on Piyo AND I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT PIYO. 
Like, I feel like I'm not giving Asylum enough of a review and talking it up enough because I'm so ready to get started with Piyo. I've neglected my yogas for too long. Mainly because my favorite yoga spot in town started making all their yoga classes hot yoga and I get gross and sweaty on my own without the help of man made heaters. 
"No, you use the sweatband. You sweat more than me"-- direct quote from my boyfriend re: how gross and sweaty I get

Yoga was the first exercise that I did because I enjoyed it. 
So, it will always hold a special place in my heart. 
I've just neglected it so, so much in the last year. And I'm sorry yoga. Please forgive me... with the help of Charlene Johnson
But, yeah. I'd love to talk to you about it if you're interested in joining our rock star challenge group. 
Or if you just want to talk about your goals
Or if you want to show me pictures of your dog. 
... I really want to see pictures of your dog

okay, bye. 
I leave you with some animals who also carry the burden of awkwardness 

People are bloggin'...
bloggin' 'bout people....
Look! My friend Hilarie let me be the guest blogger on her site! It's a really riveting and interesting interview where I talk about how awkward my dog is just a little too much and you can read it here! 
That was fun. I wish people wanted to ask me questions about myself more often. It is literally one of my favorite topics. 

So, anyway, How have you been? 
I've been good. 
I finished up Insanity and yesterday was my first week of Asylum and Shaun T ... he kind of got mean. 
Not mean. But ya know... he says he's giving you a 30 second break and then he's like "ya know what. I might say 30 seconds and it ends up being 10 seconds. DEAL WITH IT" 
... and it hurts my feelings when you lie to me like that, Shaun T. 

Two of the videos are like Insanity on crack (with equipment) and the other two are strength type training with resistance and strength bands and/or dumbells which I like. I really like the strength ones. 
... I feel like I'm missing the old workouts a little too much to give a fair review. I'll let you know in another week or so

Since starting Insanity- it's been a long time since I went to an actual class. It's so much easier/ more convenient/ requires less pants to just do the workouts at home.
And also, I had decided that since I had completed freakin' Insanity that this would be a great confidence booster because obviously I'd be on a whole other level than those other suckers and grandma's in any given class.

So, I chose this class called Body Attack. It is a Les Mills class which is affiliated with Beachbody, so I thought this would be a great opportunity to learn about some of the product and also show off my mad skills. 
HEY! GUESS WHAT SKILLS I HAVE? I'M REALLY GOOD AT GETTING SWEAT IN MY EYES AND BEING OUT OF BREATH. 
Oh. My. GAWD, Becky. This was one tough cardio class to keep up with! 
I mean I can't say I didn't get a good workout. I think I burned just shy of 500 calories in the hour, but there were times that I was like "why did I do this?!". 

Something I've taken for granted in home workouts is that there aren't other people there which is really great because sometimes people are the worst. 

First, by that I mean it's really hard to let yourself take a break- even if you think you might need it- there's that ego there. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. I mean, it certainly motivates you to keep going. What do you think?
But also- UGH, PEOPLE. Amirite? I just longed for my laptop and DVD's and no other people around who don't hear simple instructions because they are talking to their friend and then get in the way of someone else's workout! 
But the instructor was FANTASTIC all be it- cheesey as gooddamn hell. He reminded me of that guy from Office Space with all the flair. 
He was the nicest, most energetic, and essentially the flair guy from Office Space of group fitness classes. 

His energy was great, but at certain points he was so cheesy that I felt sorry for him. Do you know what I mean? It was just... a little much. 
But I would probably do the class again if I was in a FUCKING CARDIO YOUR BRAINS OUT mood anytime soon. 

I got the honor of meeting a bunch of other Beachbody coaches in the area at the Austin area Super Saturday this weekend. I also got to sample PiYo which I am SO FUCKING stoked to get on. I'm going to do after Asylum and would love to do a challenge group with a group of people on it. Please, please let me know if you want to try it with me. You're going to love it, I promise 

I drink Shakeology because I love the taste. I'm also really picky about the protein shakes I drink, but this stuff I wouldn't even call a protein shake- tho it does have 15 grams of protein per serving (in the vegan recipe at least). The reason I'm so picky about protein powders is that so many of them have so much utter shit in them and shakeology ingredients are all like quinoa, pea powder, stevia, flax seed, spirulina, spinach, etc... Like- stuff I know. And no soy-- which is a grey area for so many. 
At Super Saturday, a woman spoke who has Crohn's disease, but since she's started replacing one meal a day (on a 5 meal a day plan)- she's pretty much symptom free. Now that is freaking impressive to me. I mean losing weight is fine, but I believe so much in the healing powers of eating the right FOODS for you body and I love that she was able to quit some of her medications all from getting in the good shit in Shake-o! 
Here, I think this guy gives 

And I personally love it because omfgyouguysitsogood. The vegan chocolate mixed with a banana is best. Very yum. So delish. Many nourishments. Wow. 

So.. yeah. That's kind of what's been going on the last couple of weeks in regards to health and fitness. Other Things: 

• I'm still not drinking coffee. I'm still having headaches so that's supposed to stop eventually- right? Or do I just have headaches from now on?
  
• SPORTS! In particular: THE WORLD CUP. We went out to watch the US/Portugal game and it was the most stressful experience of my life. 
• No more Game of Thrones til March. So... what am I supposed to annoy people with by obsessively talking about now?

So anyway- I'll leave you with some pictures and shit that I posted throughout this last week. 

When I was fourteen years old I got my first job at my aunt's coffee shop- which I'm pretty sure is super illegal because I was 14, paid below minnimum wage and under the table BUT- I learned a lot.

1) all your broke ass 14 year old friends are super jealous when you got all dem Washington and Lincholns to flash around
2) the importance of responsibility, blah blah blah blah
3) OMG COFFEE IS AWESOME. ALL OF IT. I LOVE IT.

Seriously. I love coffee so hard. I like drip coffee black. I like double espressos I loove iced coffee. I like to save the coffee from the day before in the fridge and make protein shakes with it.
I. love. COFFEE Y'ALL  

Anyway, sometimes at my job I have really, really boring and mundane tasks like stuffing envelopes or sorting mail so to keep my brain from turning to mush and oozing out my ears- I find informative videos on you tube to keep my brain sharp (also,a lot of videos of dogs)
Recently, I've found Brenda from Lean Secrets YouTube channel and can we say girl crush? She's fantastic.
Here's some more links for her
Here's one
Here's another

So, I watched the video below giving ten reasons to give up coffee. So, I'm thinking "Okay, well if this one little habit could be standing in between me and a flat belly, then I can totally give it up. You don't really get addicted to coffee"

Go ahead and watch it now. It's pretty damn convincing.

So, with a happy face forward I was like "I'm going to do this!" and somehow convinced about four people on Facebook to join me in a 10 day challenge.
Currently on day three and I just want to say UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUGHHG!
UUUUHHHHGGG!
UGH!

...shit.

I can certainly see some changes in my back! I really wish I could see these kind of changes in my belly (lol, you may notice I didn't do a front picture like I said I would today here, but I'm a grown woman and I do what I want) (actually, it's both that 1) that same outfit is dirty and I feel like when comparing you should be in the same clothes and 2) okay, I just really don't feel like it)

So, these are the kinds of results you can expect while doing Insanity, so I'm pretty excited to track the results with Insanity, The Asylum that we start Monday (though the name is a little daunting)

The mere fact that this picture is an official Beachbody picture makes me nervous.

And Steve is going to do it with me again this time. Maybe I can convince him to do some before and after pictures. Maybe if I get enough pressure from the people in the comment section below

There is a brand new program that came out Friday called PiYo. It has been super anticipated for months now and Beachbody surprised us and released it a week early! I've already had one friend purchase it and I cannot wait to see her results.

I'm actually kind of jealous. I kind of wish I was doing this one next, but I wouldn't have gotten it in time to work along side with my Challenge Group that starts Monday and it really means a lot to me to be working hard and starting the same timeline they did. SO! I'll get this next.
60 days of Insanity + 30 Days of Asylum + 60 days of PiYo= sexy, sexy beast.

OH! and PiYo is on $20 off for a challenge pack if you want to get in on that shit in June or July.

OKAY!

I skipped a workout yesterday. 
I mean, I didn't have a workout scheduled that day. It was Sunday and on the Insanity schedule, that is the rest day, but I usually use it as my run day. I like to run once a week (I use the term "run" very, very loosely), but yesterday my TV was all like, 
"say girl. say, girl. how 'bout you just sit yo little self down on that fine ass couch?"
And I was all like 
"YOU'RE A GODDAMN GENIUS". (and then did not question my ability to communicate with inanimate objects) 

But, here's the unexpected thing. 
My workout this morning. 
I kind of murdered it. Like, straight up. I don't get super sore from workouts like I used to (tho, I don't think you ever totally stop getting sore), but today I felt refreshed and was able to take on the moves I have problems with a little better than I did last time which I wasn't expecting. 

I might have to give this "rest" thing a second thought.. 

Whatcha do this weekend? I got in some shoppin'. I did some good eatin' (and a little clean eating cheatin'), prepped my meals, and relaxed a bit. 
So let's talk about the food!

As I mentioned, Austin is a super vegan friendly city to live in. New places with  vegan portions of their menus- or exclusively vegan menus- are popping up all the time. I had heard about Unity Kitchen through an Austin vegan message board I like to creep on. So, we gave it a shot and we LOVED it! 

I got the taco salad and Steve got the lasagna and they were deeeelicious. Thanks, Leslie! 
(Leslie is the owner.)
(I'm not just thanking random people)
(or this Leslie) (RIP) 

We also visited Sweet Ritual, which is kind of staple in the vegan community in Austin. Non-vegans like it too because ohmyfuckinggoditsthebestthingever. 
Go look at their menu. Go ahead, I'll wait. 
Right? Looks fantastic, doesn't it?! I had the peanut buttercup flavor with chocolate sauce, but Steve went H.A.M. with his sundae. I almost went back for seconds, but luckily that voice inside my head who is a rational person was all like 
"bitch, you'll barf! You just had a taco salad 20 minutes ago"
Which was solid advice because once we left and the seconds craving was gone, I realized I was totally full and would have been miserable with another serving 
But if anyone wants to go back
....gimme a call. 

Yeah, this blog isn't only about what I eat and how I work out. I also like really intellectual shit. Like shopping, celebrity gossip and TV, okay??
Friday, I went to some resale shop up north and it was fine, but kind of boring, but I did find one dress that I freakin' fell in love with on the hanger and was so disapointed when I put it on and it was too big (and let's face it. I am too damn lazy to go get it altered) 

Isn't she lovely? I debated for seriously like 10 minutes in the fitting room what to do, but ultimately decided it just didn't fit very well and if it was meant to be we would find each other again. In this life or the next. 

I did end up getting the top I'm wearing in the date night picture up above and some earrings for only $14 total. So. Not a total loss. 

Then, on Sunday- while not working out, I went to this new resale shop on South Lamar called Uptown Cheapskate. First of all, I love the name. I feel that it speaks to me.
 

Secondly, I totally racked out. I had a budget of $45 and I got 2 dresses (Target & Charlotte Russe), one top (Old Navy) and one skirt (Express) for $42... and that's including tax, so yeah. I was pretty pleased with that trip. 

But, then something awkward happened because, hi, my name is Katy and of course it did. 
I saw that yellow dress!!! The one from above. I saw it at Uptown Cheapskate. I went to examine it to see if it was the exact same thing and maybe in a smaller size. It didn't have a tag in it and looked as if it had some alterations done to it, but it looked my size and I went to try it on

Y'all. I got fucking stuck in the dress. Yeah. Whoever had done alterations to it must have tried to crappily reinforce the zipper and it tore while I was zipping it up. Then the zipper wouldn't go up. It wouldn't go down. I had the damn thing around my waist and I started to panic and get sweaty because claustrophobia in a fitting room is a thing that happens to the socially awkward.  And it's real

The ladies had to freaking cut me out of the dress. Like she had to bring scissors into the dressing room and cut out the zipper and part of the seam so that we could get my sweaty ass out of this beautiful, but cheaply made dress. 
I mean, they were super nice about it, but still. Only me. So, I've let the dream of this dress go... for now (until I find it again and it like gives me chicken pox or something) 

I just wanted to give a shout out to my old college buddy, Rachel for being like my number one fan on the Awkward Burpees Facebook Page. For her awesomeness I sent her one of the prestigious sweatbands that we got at work from some random-ass vendor and I just wanted to take some time to show her some love (and ask you to go like my Facebook page if you haven't already)

I am hosting- along with my fellow Beachbody Coaches- a challenge group and I am SO DAMN EXCITED. 
Basically, what a Challenge Group is is that you- the health minded consumer- purchases one of the many fine Beachbody fitness programs
Then you join our Facebook group- starting the 23rd. There we give you all the support you could possibly need to get through your challenge and it is the BESTEST. We exchange recipes and words of encouragement and do challenges and post funny quotes and inspirational message and  Oh, boy. I don't care if it sounds cheesy, but I am genuinely excited to hear from our participants and lead them in group challenges. I want to learn what they like, what they hate, what they struggle with and what programs fit which kinds of workout preferences. 

If you would like to participate with us there is still a week left to order your challenge pack or fitness program (however you roll) so that it makes it in in time for the start of the group. So far I've got:

• My girl Shana doing the 21 Day fix. Shana is a friend from college who is looking for a more structured meal plan system and I just know she is going to kick all the ass with this program because she's a BAMF
• Hilarie, my very best friend from childhood, will be doing T25. Hilarie is basically a Beachbody veteran (she did Insanity while she was pregnant and if that doesn't warrant respect, man I don't know what does) and I'm so excited for the input she may have to first timers. And omg, here's her blog go read it now. 
• Katey, who I recently reconnected with, will be doing Insanity and might be jumping on the Shakeology train. Katey is a mother of 4 (FOUR!) and I'm super excited she's getting back into it. 
• Maci, my beautiful tropical fish friend (Just like Anne Perkins!) from college who will be doing T25 and I'm sure kicking ass at it! 

So... yeah...
It'd be lovely if you  joined us! 

I remember when I was younger and older people would say "can you believe it's already June... time flies" 
I'd always feel like they were so freaking slow. Because, yes. I can believe it's June because I have a calendar and last month was May and that's just how days work, grandma. 


....but, guys
.... Can you believe it's already June? The years halfway through. Where does the time go?

ANYWAY, this weekend was pretty good for health and fitness for the most part. I was feeling reluctant to get up and train insane (ugh! I'm so sorry) on Saturday, but Steve and I convinced each other to Dig Deeper (I will quit talking Shaun T one day...?) and got up and did the Max Plyo video. It was real y'all! 

Also, a vendor at work sent our company a shitload of these cheesy ass sweat bands and it's the best thing that ever happened to me

I think I've mentioned before that I sweat more than anyone else you've ever met in your life ever, and I hadn't broke down and bought a sweatband yet because they're so stupid looking

But, y'all. Sometimes it's miserable. I have to keep stopping because my sweat is just blinding me by pouring in my eyes. (Also, I'm having to stop because I'm doing Insanity at 5 am and fuuuuuck)
So, just like they PROMISED in The Secret, I sent sweatbands out into the Universe, and the Universe responded accordingly (I mean, the Universe could have given me one of these cute ones or something that they make now, but whatever. Whatever!)

Currently sending the Universe certified-pre-owned-nearly-new-car vibes. 

So, Sundays have become meal prep day in the Hearne-Church-Monster household. As part of my Beachbody Coach training I'm helping run a free clean eating group on Facebook. I even got to write the Vegan Meal plan for the group which was really fun! Like I am way more excited about our group's progress and am having way more fun and probably getting way too emotionally invested in this, but that's FINE! 
So, yesterday I made the following: 

1. 6 servings of this Quinoa Soup
2. 2 baked sweet potatoes that I plan to steam veggies over and smother in clean eating approved salsa
3. 3 side salads
4. 6 servings of these awesome Cake Batter Protein Bars (seriously, check out that website Pretty Fit Mom. It's the blog of one of the coaches running my internship group and she's a beast)

Yeah, it took me forever, but now I don't have to worry about planning or cooking pretty much all week. BAM! mothafucka! 

Oh! And guess what! My goal for last week was to have 50 likes on the Awkward Burpees Facebook page by the end of the week and I had 70 by last Friday!!  YAY! So, now if you're reading this and you haven't liked it, please do so because I ain't too proud to beg. Sweet darlin'. 
My next goal is to have 100 by this Friday. Currently at 79, so ... tell your friends! 
...or don't? 
I'm suddenly uncomfortable with how pushy I just go. Which is going to make this next bit just uncomfortable for everyone....

Shaun T has two challenge packs on sale this month! Insanity (#soulmateworkout) and his Hip Hop abs. What are challenge packs? When you order a challenge pack the price includes: Shakeololgy, a month of Beachbody club membership and the program you're ordering. So, if you've thought about doing Insanitiy or the more Zumba-y (for abs) Hip Hop abs, this would be a good time for you because it's on saaaaale, bitches (I really shouldn't call potential customers bitches, should I? I think that's generally frowned up in the sales community) 

Sales pitch status: complete. 
Anyway! 
Umm... man, I've forgotten how to end these things gracefully. 
How about with sweatbands?
That seems... like... something